YES i am terrified!!

"she's so self conscious
She has no idea what she's doing in college
That major that she majored in don't make no money"


and i still dont know how this man sees right through me , how he lyrically speaks to me.. 
and the verse that i now sit here and quote oh so shamelesly , speaks of me .
My name is Randy Nkwe , a 20 year old girl of African decent , from a country she takes great pride in Botswana .. i am an university student , oh so im supposed to be, i am majoring in Fine arts in theater , i have NO INTEREST whatsoever in learning about fine arts and eventually "making a living out of it" 
after four years??!! FOUR YEARS OF MY LIFE ... i wil sit there with a degree in my hand that society oh so upholds "university is everything" right??! but really if a drag goin class now , wont i drag goin to work in 4 yours time?? ... is that the life i wanna live?? .. the unhappy "oh im supposed to go to work SHOOT ME DEAD NOW" life??! REALLY??!! i don think so ... i don wanna follow the system,, i dont wanna be part of the stastistic , i do wanna be part of "whats supposed to happen" ..
i want to wake up in the morning 4 years from now with achievement in my hands.. an achievement i will also take great pride in, an achievement thats not for society but MYSELF , i like to think of myself as a success story in progress, that i am yet to succeed , i am young and terrified ...
YES i am very much scared , YES i wanna drop out , ofcouse i am scared for my future , i dont know what it holds .. i dont know what stands between me and that college drop out! will i look back and go OH HOLLY SHIET!! I MESSED UP!??! will i then go back to my blog , (if i still know abou its existance then) and go how dare i mess up my own future like that?? OR will i look back and go , "for a very confused , AMBITIOUS soul you did well for yourself" ... ??!! 
YES I AM TERRIFIED ... 

ITS AN ACT

see i got my so called "act" together but really i do. ITS AN ACT!! and you are all falling for it , i got you fused up , tangled in the vaguely real me that i'd rather have you see. you don know i hurt , you dont know my heart breaks , you don't know my eyes occasionally leak  , that i can't say the words my heart secrectly speaks , the silent squicks my soul make , but its pride wont let it ... I WONT LET IT!! .. you dont know that i get a lil confused that , i'd rather not have to choose .

yes i walk down wit ma chest postured just right , ma shoes the latest , ma hair done in a way no ordinary can , ma body marked with the inks art , my lips glossy , hand bag all DIY and thats why you stop me to say "hey i like your style" and i smile and my braces show , the pimple in my dimple shows , but because you think you see right through my brown tiny eyes right through to my soul , you whisper "what a happy soul" if i were you , i'd also be fooled by me!!
ITS AN ACT!! and i might just get an oscar for it!

so i just sing along to kanye "when it falls down , who you gonna call now??!!"

"everything i am not made me everything i am"

we all have an energy we feed from, we have that one thing , one person who feeds our ambition , our strive to succeed. well at least i do. and amazingly enough for a feminist like myself its a man! a man that i believe is yet to print himself in this universe , make a difference , as much as he is underrated KANYE WEST stays winning , i know if i was in any form or shape a boy i would be a lot like him!
not only does he poetically and lyrically inspire me, his style sense is something to go by!

THE DW LINE (Paris fashion week)

a neck piece of his nickname "YEEZI" and was worn by the models and himself  at the Paris fashion week, when show casing his collection "DW" which is dedicated to his late mother  Donda West.

and then he takes a bow!! :)

an ammatures blog!

this is an ammature's  blog , whose passion is fashion and style!

all thats hot now , i can safely say they are very much influenced by my mother land Africa from the clashing prints to the now oh so popular headwraps!