...living life!

when u start to forget about your possible problems ...
let the past be, let God take charge of the drivers seat ..
let the smile find your face again,
you kinda do this
->

Cafe Mocha

this is me appreciating life ... have a Cafe Mocha on a sunday , and take long walks 

wear shorts that i would'v not done months ago ... i have grown to accept my flaws , get over my minor insecurities . because well THIS IS ME ... THIS IS MY LIFE , AND I AM LIVING IT LIKE ITS A RUNWAY4REAL!!  

And if there’s one thing in this world I’ve ever known for sure it’s that this guy is gonna crush me like a small bug, leave me so fucking broken there’ll be body bags beneath my eyes from nights i cried so hard the stars died but I’m like, go ahead, I’m all yours. I would kiss you in the middle of the ocean during a lightning storm ‘cause I’d rather be left for dead than left to wonder what thunder sounds like.

- Andrea Gibson

a woman's story

you ask how i am??!
this is what i'd really like to say ...
nothing work cant hide ,, nothing a pain killer can't numb .. nothing a new shoe can't fix!! nothing a pink drink can't erase .. well only momentarily!!!.. nothing a painful meaningful melody cant portray
nothing a poetic verse cant paint...
nothing foundation can't cover up with its concealer
not "im fine" we all know that's a lie!
so i sit here knowing that im weak .. weak towards this mans presence .. his  words , his touch .. even his neglect .. i sit here and take all the bullshit excuses ...
i wont lie and say i don know why .. i know why because im too busy tryna please sum1 .. tryna please this man .. tryna please ma please-full heart .. yet the only pleasing im doing is breaks of its pain veins , now we have have both established that im a hazard to myself ..
so what we gon do??!! .....
you cant protect me , from me .. see i see with ma very own two that i chuz to blind fold .. yet see right the through the fabricated so called "love" he created  tailored to perfection to trigger in ma weakness to him .. to size to swallow his brutality.. he really couldn't care less about ma emotions .. hell i don think he thinks i have any .. he sees a trophy in me .. someone to parade .. and introduce  like he really "loves" her .... i know you know he doesn't and he knows it too ...
so why do i still stay?? why the hell im i still here ?? ...
truth being... im just like the next statue woman who cant be moved!
glued to abuse!!